WTB> Girl who can…
-make me laugh (not difficult)
-hold a conversation with some substance
-speak her mind
-spell properly on MSN (even though I can’t)
-read (more than me)
-understand that I have a twisted sense of humor and there is nothing that you can do about it
-try new foods without fussing first (Ethiopian anyone?)
-call me once in awhile, so I don’t feel like I’m always the one calling (Nobody ever calls me…)
-go out without a plan (I like to live dangerously)
-can comfortably go to the corner store without getting all made up first (Who the hell puts on 40 minutes of makeup to go out for 5 minutes)
-can laugh after a Dutch oven
-will scold me after I burp/fart (this happens more often than you would think)
-show me new things (this one is pretty hard…)
-talk while I listen (I get bored of listening to myself)
-listen while I talk (I get bored of listening to you)
-sit and enjoy silence (We get bored of each other)
-look at the world around and marvel and the structures man has created
-contemplate life
-sing (well. Because I can’t)
-dance (grind, in such a way that I won’t get bored at a club)
-disagree with me (too easy)
-think logically (This one is gonna be a toughie)
-can hype me up when I need it, and cool me down the rest of the time
-will listen to my entire PENIS JOKE before rolling her eyes (as opposed to during it)
-knows the following terms/references: jizz, bukkake, firemelon, wall rape
-can go shopping by herself (I don’t have time to look at TnA bags…)
-has good enough fashion sense that I could just give her money and she would go buy me clothes
-understands that games are a way for guys to cool down (Girls just won’t understand)
-exercise (or at least try to. I’m not asking for Olympic athletes)
-know that men have penises (Yes, I like a girl that knows a little anatomy)
-knows what a booty call is and how to make one
-not pull down the mood when things turn out for the worse
-can shut up and watch a movie
-can talk through an entire movie and still get the idea of what happened
-understand grunts (the morning type of man communication)
-understand that sometimes talking isn’t the best form of communication
-understand that I always look to the future
-be okay if I look like a bum sometimes
-nag at me to go to the gym
-know how to wake me up in the morning (this one is REALLY difficult)
-support me when I’m feeling uneasy (emotionally. Although I am limping right now, so a human crutch would be nice)
-can suggest activities to do together (like… new things…)
-can ice skate (or at least try it…)
-can snowboard (or at least try it…)
-understands the rules to badminton (holy frig. You know how hard it is to find ANYBODY that does?)
-can laugh at my family for being as ridiculous as it is.
-pick out nice smelling cologne.
-get a little jealous but not say anything when I talk to other girls. (It’s cute…)
-make my bed.
-make my lunch.
-make suggestions on my hairstyle.
-make suggestions on my lifestyle.
-not crave money. (I’m gonna be rich… so I can’t really say not WANT money…)
-fold millions of paper cranes in an afternoon
-fold a bunch of other origami crap
-teach me how to fold all that origami crap
-enjoy eating
-enjoy my presence.
-enjoy me enjoying their presence
-emit an aura that I can detect without a scouter (>9000)
-post a picture of herself on facebook without photoshopping it first (thats my job!)
-make fun of herself
-make fun of others
-make fun of me (not in front of others)
-be accepting of other cultures
-be accepting of other people
-be accepting of other peoples habits
-think about why those people formed those habits
-think about ways to exploit them because they have those habits
-get me to stop smoking (if I ever start…)
-get me to stop drinking (if I ever want to….)
-enjoys reading this list
-play games, but doesn’t fiend games
-watch weekend long movie marathons
-go to the gym with me and do her own thing, then meet up after
-study without talking
-talk without studying
-go off MSN when studying
-text message at 60WPM
-pick up her phone when I call
-notice a text message when I text
-walk and eat
-walk and talk
-walk and look at things
-enjoys walking
-enjoys walking for a long time
-enjoys walking because I forgot to bring money and have no way of getting home
-enjoy a campfire sing a long
-will forgive me if I buy the wrong present
-understand that I am not the gift giving kind of guy, but I will probably end up spoiling you.
-can ignore annoying UNICEF ads
-not afraid of needles
-not afraid of the dentist
-not afraid of snakes, spider or anything significantly smaller than they are
-not afraid of the boogeyman.
-not afraid of black people
-enjoy sex
-enjoy make up sex
-enjoy “I feel like doing it just because” sex
-enjoy “FUCK, I’m stressed but let’s do it anyway” sex
-enjoy forgiveness sex
-enjoy sex
-enjoy SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX
-knows that going to gym once will not make you bulk up like Arnold
-is willing to eat from Ken Ho’s truck
-can eat hot dogs
-can eat meat
-will eat meat
-will eat MY meat
-showers regularly, but not so much that it would dry out her hair. If she had dry hair she would use conditioner to prevent split ends.
-care for me
-care for others and me
-care for her parents and their son in law
-care for my parents and their son
-care for my parents, parents and their grandson
-care for the father of our children
-care for the grandfather of our grandchildren
-care for me
-care about me
-care about what I do
-care if I’m really happy
-respect the choices that I make
-support the choices that I make
-suggest alternatives to the choices I make
-reject the choices I make
-make me think that the choices that I make were really made by me, and her manipulating me in such a way that I thought it was my idea in the first place
-hold me
-thrill me
-kiss me
-kill me
-suggest music for me to listen to
-keep me updated in pop culture
-remember the names of celebrities that I never remember the names of
-remember the names of bands that I never remember the names of
-remember the names of the children I we will have that I never remember the names of
-enjoy art
-comment intelligently about art
-call bullshit on me when I try to say something in an artsy tone
-enjoy going to museums
-not seriously think that “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. STDS follow you back.
-not take Ashton Ketcher seriously as an actor
-recite lines from “Pirates of the Caribbean”
-have a sense of direction
-have a sense of humor
-have a sense of adventure
-have spider sense so she can save me from oncoming danger
-keep her word
-call when she is going to be late
-call me when I am going to be late
-know that I’m always probably going to be late and just end up arriving 20 minutes later than I originally said to meet at.
-realize that taking a picture in the mirror is stupid when you have a timer function on your camera
-realize that only webcam-whores turn up the contrast to maximum
-know who Maddox is
-laugh, but be disgusted at electricretard
-be cute. And even cuter when angry.
-punch me when I’m not paying attention
-actually answer the question when I ask… “Do you think you could beat up [insert other girl’s name]?”
-do more than 1 pushup
-enjoy theater
-enjoy musicals
-enjoy all that gay-shit that is totally socially unacceptable to do with another guy
But most importantly,
WTB> A woman that can accept me for who I am. Accept my strengths, and weaknesses. Support me. And just be there.
PM me with offers. Brand new / BNIB preferred.
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