WTB> Girl who can…

WTB> Girl who can…

-make me laugh (not difficult)

-hold a conversation with some substance

-speak her mind

-spell properly on MSN (even though I can’t)

-read (more than me)

-understand that I have a twisted sense of humor and there is nothing that you can do about it

-try new foods without fussing first (Ethiopian anyone?)

-call me once in awhile, so I don’t feel like I’m always the one calling (Nobody ever calls me…)

-go out without a plan (I like to live dangerously)

-can comfortably go to the corner store without getting all made up first (Who the hell puts on 40 minutes of makeup to go out for 5 minutes)

-can laugh after a Dutch oven

-will scold me after I burp/fart (this happens more often than you would think)

-show me new things (this one is pretty hard…)

-talk while I listen (I get bored of listening to myself)

-listen while I talk (I get bored of listening to you)

-sit and enjoy silence (We get bored of each other)

-look at the world around and marvel and the structures man has created

-contemplate life

-sing (well. Because I can’t)

-dance (grind, in such a way that I won’t get bored at a club)

-disagree with me (too easy)

-think logically (This one is gonna be a toughie)

-can hype me up when I need it, and cool me down the rest of the time

-will listen to my entire PENIS JOKE before rolling her eyes (as opposed to during it)

-knows the following terms/references: jizz, bukkake, firemelon, wall rape

-can go shopping by herself (I don’t have time to look at TnA bags…)

-has good enough fashion sense that I could just give her money and she would go buy me clothes

-understands that games are a way for guys to cool down (Girls just won’t understand)

-exercise (or at least try to. I’m not asking for Olympic athletes)

-know that men have penises (Yes, I like a girl that knows a little anatomy)

-knows what a booty call is and how to make one

-not pull down the mood when things turn out for the worse

-can shut up and watch a movie

-can talk through an entire movie and still get the idea of what happened

-understand grunts (the morning type of man communication)

-understand that sometimes talking isn’t the best form of communication

-understand that I always look to the future

-be okay if I look like a bum sometimes

-nag at me to go to the gym

-know how to wake me up in the morning (this one is REALLY difficult)

-support me when I’m feeling uneasy (emotionally. Although I am limping right now, so a human crutch would be nice)

-can suggest activities to do together (like… new things…)

-can ice skate (or at least try it…)

-can snowboard (or at least try it…)

-understands the rules to badminton (holy frig. You know how hard it is to find ANYBODY that does?)

-can laugh at my family for being as ridiculous as it is.

-pick out nice smelling cologne.

-get a little jealous but not say anything when I talk to other girls. (It’s cute…)

-make my bed.

-make my lunch.

-make suggestions on my hairstyle.

-make suggestions on my lifestyle.

-not crave money. (I’m gonna be rich… so I can’t really say not WANT money…)

-fold millions of paper cranes in an afternoon

-fold a bunch of other origami crap

-teach me how to fold all that origami crap

-enjoy eating

-enjoy my presence.

-enjoy me enjoying their presence

-emit an aura that I can detect without a scouter (>9000)

-post a picture of herself on facebook without photoshopping it first (thats my job!)

-make fun of herself

-make fun of others

-make fun of me (not in front of others)

-be accepting of other cultures

-be accepting of other people

-be accepting of other peoples habits

-think about why those people formed those habits

-think about ways to exploit them because they have those habits

-get me to stop smoking (if I ever start…)

-get me to stop drinking (if I ever want to….)

-enjoys reading this list

-play games, but doesn’t fiend games

-watch weekend long movie marathons

-go to the gym with me and do her own thing, then meet up after

-study without talking

-talk without studying

-go off MSN when studying

-text message at 60WPM

-pick up her phone when I call

-notice a text message when I text

-walk and eat

-walk and talk

-walk and look at things

-enjoys walking

-enjoys walking for a long time

-enjoys walking because I forgot to bring money and have no way of getting home

-enjoy a campfire sing a long

-will forgive me if I buy the wrong present

-understand that I am not the gift giving kind of guy, but I will probably end up spoiling you.

-can ignore annoying UNICEF ads

-not afraid of needles

-not afraid of the dentist

-not afraid of snakes, spider or anything significantly smaller than they are

-not afraid of the boogeyman.

-not afraid of black people

-enjoy sex

-enjoy make up sex

-enjoy “I feel like doing it just because” sex

-enjoy “FUCK, I’m stressed but let’s do it anyway” sex

-enjoy forgiveness sex

-enjoy sex

-enjoy SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

-knows that going to gym once will not make you bulk up like Arnold

-is willing to eat from Ken Ho’s truck

-can eat hot dogs

-can eat meat

-will eat meat

-will eat MY meat

-showers regularly, but not so much that it would dry out her hair. If she had dry hair she would use conditioner to prevent split ends.

-care for me

-care for others and me

-care for her parents and their son in law

-care for my parents and their son

-care for my parents, parents and their grandson

-care for the father of our children

-care for the grandfather of our grandchildren

-care for me

-care about me

-care about what I do

-care if I’m really happy

-respect the choices that I make

-support the choices that I make

-suggest alternatives to the choices I make

-reject the choices I make

-make me think that the choices that I make were really made by me, and her manipulating me in such a way that I thought it was my idea in the first place

-hold me

-thrill me

-kiss me

-kill me

-suggest music for me to listen to

-keep me updated in pop culture

-remember the names of celebrities that I never remember the names of

-remember the names of bands that I never remember the names of

-remember the names of the children I we will have that I never remember the names of

-enjoy art

-comment intelligently about art

-call bullshit on me when I try to say something in an artsy tone

-enjoy going to museums

-not seriously think that “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. STDS follow you back.

-not take Ashton Ketcher seriously as an actor

-recite lines from “Pirates of the Caribbean”

-have a sense of direction

-have a sense of humor

-have a sense of adventure

-have spider sense so she can save me from oncoming danger

-keep her word

-call when she is going to be late

-call me when I am going to be late

-know that I’m always probably going to be late and just end up arriving 20 minutes later than I originally said to meet at.

-realize that taking a picture in the mirror is stupid when you have a timer function on your camera

-realize that only webcam-whores turn up the contrast to maximum

-know who Maddox is

-laugh, but be disgusted at electricretard

-be cute. And even cuter when angry.

-punch me when I’m not paying attention

-actually answer the question when I ask… “Do you think you could beat up [insert other girl’s name]?”

-do more than 1 pushup

-enjoy theater

-enjoy musicals

-enjoy all that gay-shit that is totally socially unacceptable to do with another guy

But most importantly,

WTB> A woman that can accept me for who I am. Accept my strengths, and weaknesses. Support me. And just be there.

PM me with offers. Brand new / BNIB preferred.

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